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“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your way can illuminate the world” - OPRAH WINFREY

From the pincushion of judgment to the humanity of love

From the pincushion of judgment to the humanity of love

When we first meet someone, be it a love or a friendship connection, and we truly get each other – we melt into love. This melting of two beings into unison feels like the beginning of real life, the one we have been waiting for way too long. All of a sudden life is whole, we finally feel understood and a part of us that was neglected springs to life.  Our previous existence is revived into the forefront of true life.

This melting is full love’s acceptance, because now that we are finally understood that part of us which we kept away hidden in shame can finally thrive, can now beautify and re-enter society. This is a feeling of wholeness, of completeness and of acceptance.

There is no before, there is no after. There is only now and it’s breathtakingly good.

We bask in the moment – the look, the conversation, and the lightness of being.  We tell everyone about this miracle of being, of love and connection and we cannot believe how truly blissful life is. We no longer crave “the next thing”, because we now experience “THE THING”.

Yet, as our own humanity would have it, our past experiences pop back into forefront, eager to remind us to be cautious, to be guarded and safe. The pure connection, the seamless melting slowly becomes tainted.

Over time, as we continue to be with our newfound friend, or our “other half”, the game of disconnection silently disturbs the harmony. It’s usually not a single thing, but small acts of humanity which create the ripples in the peaceful harmony of love.  So when the perfect other might react in a way that we do not understand, straight away we consider building a wall of protection – the “just in case I was wrong about this”.

And over time the perfect canvas of connection becomes a pincushion of pain and disappointment. Each non-conforming reaction is pinned down, secured and on display.  With time the beautiful union, cherished by us and admired by those around us, becomes damaged; the purity of being becomes a source of judgment. Yet since we still see ourselves as deserving of that pure love and connection, we then come to the logical conclusion that it is the other that is faulty.

Yet if we put judgment aside and stop the separation process, the undoing of all that we have created, and reach into the real connection of our humanity we shall realize that neither party is at fault.

We are not built to be perfect, we are not built to be robots.

We are born to be human and in order to thrive – we need to whole-heartedly embrace our humanity.

Humanity is perfectly imperfect and it is delicious – it’s the glue that turns judgment into acceptance and separation into connection.

Tuning towards humanity whilst experiencing isolating pain, allows us to see the other as the same as us. The other is then not a separate being which can be judged, but the perfectly-imperfect human which craves love. Connecting with our own humanity, transforms the perceived attack into a call for love and allows our heart to re-open and embrace.

It is this re-open heart that makes all the making-up so sweet and allows for the rebirth of all that seemed destroyed.  By connecting to the forgiving nature of our human heart, the connection is restored and we are once again able to melt into love.

So what is your path for connection? Can you taste it’s sweetness?

Please leave a comment below – I would love to hear from you.

In love and light,

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